Friday, 12 October 2018

Mental Health and Work

Mental Health and Finding Work


For the past 5 months I have been looking for work, with that I have been struggling to find work. I’ve actually lost count at the amount of jobs I’ve applied for.

I’ve been to so many interviews in that time as well, I never ended up hearing back from half of them. Which I find really rude that they just don’t get back.

I did actually start a job but unfortunately it didn’t work out for me, the environment made me extremely uncomfortable and stressed. This lead me to leave the same day I started. Some jobs just aren’t great for mental health.

I then went for an interview/asssessment day at my dream job, it was about 5 hours long. I got the job they offered me it and I signed the contract and everything. After a month of waiting to start, suddenly I was declined a job because of previous time off for mental health. I’m 99% sure this is discrimination but I have no idea how to go about it so I’m just letting them win this.

Since this has happened I’ve lost a lot of confidence to work, I feel like I will be continuously hit the same dead end. I feel I will experience this discrimination all over again. I was supposed to go for an interview at my previous job but they said that I had HR issues which I never, it really annoyed me but I guess it wasn’t meant to be.

I am really nervous about going for jobs again now, I have so much built up stress and anxiety. I’ve had interviews but some I’ve not managed to get myself to because I’ve just been way too anxious and worked myself up.

The fact I am 20 years old and feel like I’ve been forced into not being able to work again really upsets me. I can’t afford not to work I need a job. I literally have no clue what I am going to do anymore. I have started working with a vocational worker though so I’m hoping that will help me.

People with mental illnesses still have a life, they still need to feed themselves and pay bills. We are still human, we still have feelings and emotions. We deserve to work just as much as someone who hasn’t got a mental illlness. Everyone has mental health and everyone has physical health. We all deserve equal opportunities and not to be judged on our past.

Thanks for reading.

Hannah x

Monday, 1 October 2018

Mental Health Crisis


Mental Health Crisis

TW- Detachment/Suicidal thoughts (first paragraph)

I am currently in the middle of a mental health crisis. I don’t even know how to cope right now   This has been going on for a couple days now, I feel so lost. I’ve completely detached myself now, I’m in a complete dissociative state. I don’t even know how to cope I’m completely out of it. I want it all to end,  I want to disappear.

I have been going through a crisis for a while mainly due to stress of no money and no job. I am really in need of getting a job as soon as possible to feel stable. I was recently supposed to start my dream job and since they have seen my reference about having time off for mental health they have decided to take back my offer. This has really upset me and caused me a lot of stress due to needing money and mainly a routine and sleep pattern.

Unfortunately this all happened Friday afternoon, not leaving me anytime to get any more job interviews. This is why I ended up feeling extremely distressed and out of control all weekend, having no clue about what to do with myself. It was extremely difficult for me to relax all weekend.

Finally it was Monday, I finally felt a little more back in control as I had access to finding jobs and being able to ring up to book interviews. Which I have finally got an interview for one job which is actually my old job. I am looking forward to this as the only reason I left last time was because of the shift patterns.

I am finally looking up after over 48 hours in a crisis. I feel able to get on and find myself a job. Hopefully soon I will be earning money.

Hannah x

Self Care

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