Thursday, 13 December 2018

A Year Of Blogging

A Whole Year of Blogging


It’s been a year since I went to A&E for feeling extremely suicidal and had also self harmed. It’s been a year since I’ve chose to fight for recovery and a year since I decided to start a blog. I feel like I’ve achieved so much but at the same time so little. I’ve just been diagnosed with Folate deficiency again which is what I had a year ago so I feel like I’m back to square one with feeling extremely tired all the time and sleeping for hours on end. 

Within the year of blogging I’ve spoke to some lovely people who also have mental illnesses. I appreciate those people a lot. I’ve also attended some CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy). Soon I’m going to be attending an assessment for DBT/MBT (dialectical behavioural therapy or mentalization based therapy). I’m not sure which is going to be best for me yet but I am looking forward to gaining more skills.

This year I have seen so much of the mental health team and I am now under a new mental health team that is designed for longer term support. I’ve been under this team since August after my previous mental health team decided I would benefit from longer term support and I am really happy to have been put under the new mental health team as I am finding it a lot more beneficial.

I do feel a lot better compare to last year when I was in A&E, in fact it’s been 50 days since I last self harmed, although I still have the anaemia like last year I do feel a lot more positive about getting things done. I start a new job next week and I’m super excited to be earning money again and to be back in the career setting that I love. I’m hoping eventually I’ll be able to go back to the NHS but for now I’m happy with the job I’ve managed to obtain.

This year has definitely made me a lot more confident in myself and asking for the help that I need. It’s also made me realise how lucky I am to have such supportive people around me and I’m forever grateful for them in my life.

I’m really looking forward to starting my new therapy though as I feel it’s going to help me so much especially with the emotional dysregulation side of things.

Thanks for reading

Hannah x

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