Saturday, 1 June 2019

Mental Health Update

I haven’t blogged in months. In fact 6 months I haven’t wrote a blog post for. So here’s a mental health update for everyone.

I’m not going to lie I have been struggling a lot with anxiety and low moods. I’ve been in hospital a few times too because of being so low. I’ve had a rough time with working and I’ve not been able to cope with working.

I had my dream job, that’s what I thought anyway! Unfortunately my friends BPD and anxiety tricked me into thinking I would cope with working again and it was time to start a job again after a year off work. That wasn’t the case at all, I got to work and struggled through my first 12 hour shift and then couldn’t cope any longer, I felt so anxious and also this boredom inside of me as my dream job just didn’t work out the way I thought it was going to at all.

I’ve decided recovery is going to take a little longer than I expected, therefore I need more time off work before returning to a job. I’m currently doing the introduction to mentalization based treatment which is a therapy for borderline personality disorder. I finish this course next week I am having a review on whether I do the full programme.

I also have a medication review in the next few weeks where I’ll be discussing if I need a medication for my anxiety as my anxiety has become out of control , I am so tense all the time and can not relax at all. I’m also having my contraceptive implant out as I believe this has made my moods a lot worse than what they was originally, so I’m hoping with this I’ll have some release of emotion.

I’m also going to be attending private therapy, this is going to be hypnotherapy, which I have no expectations for as I really don’t know what to expect from this therapy, although I am hoping it will help me with my anxiety and to lead a more ‘normal’ life.

This is all for my update. Please don’t forget to subscribe to my YouTube channel for more updates and videos to help with mental illnesses. www.youtube.com/HannahVlogsMH


Hannah xo

Wednesday, 9 January 2019

New Year, Mental Health and Goals

I haven’t really blogged for a while and mainly because I’ve been using YouTube! If you want to check me out over there please do! www.youtube.com/HannahVlogsMH

I’ve been having a bit of a bad patch as such, I was prescribed quetiapine however although it’s helping me it’s causing unpleasant side effects so it’s kind of working but also giving me increased heart rate and palpitations which aren’t so great. I was supposed to be starting a job, which I went to for 1 day and then felt too overwhelmed with the idea of being back in work, I also felt I had no motivation to be back at work.

Something I’ve come to realise recently is that just because other people are doing things doesn’t mean I have to be too. Which gets me on to my goals for 2019, I didn’t really achieve any of my goals for 2018 mainly because it took me 6 months to get under the right mental health team. It’s also taken the next 6 months of that year for me to be referred to the correct therapy place.

My goals for this year are simply to attend therapy, focus on getting on the right path and possibly finding a job. This year I want to focus on breaking the stigma even more on mental health. It means a lot to me. I have a few things in place for the end of January and February to help break stigma. My main focus is getting recovered from surgery I’m seeing a surgeon soon and will most likely be having surgery this year which is a scary thing for me well terrify actually.

I will be blogging but I must say I will mostly be trying to YouTube as I am trying to build self confidence and self esteem. I very much don’t have a self esteem so feel I’m worthy of nothing or anything which makes it hard for people around me and for myself, this year I hope things will change.

Thanks for reading, please don’t forget to subscribe to my YouTube channel for more mental health updates and also just me being me!

Hannah x

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